"What are you gonna do now?".
Ah, that was at least the 15th time that Suppu (It's Supraja, my friend in MBA) repeated her question. I just gave her a look that meant let me finish my tea first. We were in the college canteen after attending a boring presentation. Most of us fell short of our attendance percentage as we rarely attended classes in the beginning of semester and now we had no choice, but to attend all sickening classes with boring presentations. At the beginning of every semester i would promise myself that i will no more bunk classes and I’ll jot down all the notes without chit chatting in class. And like most of us, I'll tell myself from tomorrow, I'll for sure implement what i promised to myself and obviously no such tomorrow ever came for me. Luckily, for me in the last 2 semesters i was always at least a point more than the recommended attendance percentage (The cut off was 75%, i was always at 75.2, 75.01 etc). Our college was very strict about attendance percentage. Students were mercilessly detained if they fell short of attendance. The best part of the rule was, be it an ordinary student or a meritorious student, son of a peon or a VIP, everyone was equal when it was about attendance shortage.
But this semester which was our final but one semester, i was at 68%, i needed to cover up 7% and on the top of that, classes and the semester were going to conclude shortly. I was left with no option than attending all classes, from morning (9:40 am) till evening (4:10 pm) with a break of 35 minutes for lunch (1:00pm to 1:35pm). The worst part of it was everyone in my gang had sufficient attendance percentages and there were only two of us struggling hard to drag the percentage to at least 70%, so that we can pay the condonation fee for shortage of attendance and wash our hands off. But that 2% seemed to be an impossible target as i was finding it really difficult to sit in the same place from morning till evening, talk nothing and simply keep listening to the professors. It was like giving your head to someone for constant hammering. And the most annoying of all was one of the professors would give me that constant nasty grin that would mean "Good that I'm seeing you in class today, rarely do i get to see you. Thanks to your attendance shortage!!!"
I was having tea and thinking deeply about my attendance. It was then that Suppu popped the question again.
"What are you gonna do now?"
It was not about attendance that she was asking. For attendance as i said earlier i had no option, but attend all the classes regularly. It was about an unexpected situation i was pushed into. Till then i was a happy going, tension free gal bunking classes and going to movies, shopping, parks with friends. But where ever i went, i used to be home by 5:30 in the evening. Two good reasons for this. One, i used to take tuitions for school kids at 5, so i had to reach home by at least 5:30 as it was how i used to earn my pocket money. Two, my parents will freak out if they find out that i am bunking my classes almost daily. Once in a while, it’s ok for my parents if i bunk classes, but not so frequently. Well, coming back to Suppu's question. I had no idea what i had to do. From last four days, apart from attendance there was something else which was bugging me.
Rewind Rewind Rewind:
I came home from college at around 5:20. I got freshened up. My mom was waiting for me with a cup of ginger tea (my favorite) and said "My poor girl, so pity you have classes from morning till evening, how tired you must be? Why don't you stop taking tuitions at home? You can get some time to relax." I just gave her the usual expression and explanation "NO, i am not giving up tuitions, i love teaching kids." She just smiled and left. I went to the verandah where the kids were waiting for me. They were all talking, fighting, and making noise, but as they saw me coming, they became calm and pretended as if they were busy reading. This was what i liked the most about teaching kids, i just have someone who is afraid of me, just like the way i am scared (rather pretend) of my professors. If i had a bad day in college, I'll show it on these poor kids by shouting at them for not doing their homework or for bad hand writing or for forgetting their study stuff at home. It was very rare though. I usually show a lot of patience when it comes to teaching kids. I strongly believe that what you learn as a kid lays a strong foundation in later years of life. So, i was not like regular tutors who just grill the kids for more marks. Once in a while, i used to make them play games, talk about their interests, give them interesting topics and ask them to share their views. I was sipping my tea and was looking into a maths problem that one of the kids couldn’t solve. It was then that i heard my dad's mobile ring. He answered the call and it was my aunt the other side (She happens to be my mom's sister and also dad's brother's wife, i.e. my mom and her sister are married to my dad and his brother). Thinking that it was just one of those casual calls once a week, i diverted my mind from the call and started solving the maths problem. It was almost 8 in the evening when i was done with tuitions. I was happy that my brother was not home and that i can use the system. I sat in front of the computer and was checking mails and scraps in orkut. Nothing much interesting. No new mail or any scraps. I never feel bad even if get low marks, but i feel terribly bad when there were no new mails or updates. Internet addiction, or rather orkut addiction. My mom walked in to the room with some cashewnuts and raisins in a bowl and placed them on the system table. I started googling a HR topic as my mom took a chair and sat beside me. She would yell at me if she found out that i was orkuting. "Are you busy, or can i talk to you for a while?" She looked at my expressionless face and asked again "Can we talk for a while or are you studying?" I felt like rolling on the floor and laugh, but could only say "Ya mom, sure, we can talk". She began, "Just listen completely and then respond". My mind was full of thoughts as to what it might be about. I thought it might be about tuitions she wanted me to give up or was it about the new designer dress she promised me to buy? Seeing her waiting for my response, I said "Ok, what is it about?"
She continued "Madhavakka (Its Madhavi, my aunty and we used to call her akka ever since we were kids) called this evening. She said she had a friend who is also a Brahmin, and the lady happened to see my photographs in my cousins system at my aunt’s place." I said "Aha, so what? Did she say i am pretty? You know, i know that i am pretty and i don't need any advertising". I gave her a naughty grin; she said "I think i asked you to listen completely". Oh she did ask me to listen completely. I said i was sorry and asked her to continue. "The lady has a son working in US and she is looking for a good match for him". I couldn’t control but shout "SO???????" My mom said "It’s nothing like what you are thinking, she just wants to see you and meet you directly, and she thinks you might be a good match for her son". I said "NO WAY". My dad entered the room. Thank GOD. I was glad to see my dad; he is my pillar of strength. He said "We all know that you are still studying and you want to work once you are done with your MBA. Mom is also very clear about all this. But it doesn’t look good if we say an outright no to your aunt’s proposal. There's a chance that she might feel hurt." "Ok, so what do you want me to do?" My mom said, "We just told aunty, that we'll give a thought about it. If she is serious about this, she'll again call us and then we'll think what we have to do about this." I looked directly in to my mom's eyes, i felt that's her honest opinion and she really meant what she said. I said "COOL".
Dinner time.
All the four of us (my parents, brother and me) were sitting and eating. I usually do most of the talking during dinner and rest of the people just nod their heads or smile or just say yes or no, whatever was relevant to the topic i was talking about. But today, i was lost in thoughts, about my attendance and this new match. Same thing happened with my sister. She was in her final year of graduation and wanted to do her post-graduation in Micro Biology. A relative of my dad brought a really good match for my sister, though we didn’t have any intention of performing her marriage in the near future. We cannot say a direct NO, my parents agreed to visit the guy and his place. A week later my parents went to Gulbarga (all the way from Hyderabad) to visit the guy. I was so sure that this marriage will not take place as my parents and sister was least interested. But after their return, my mom and dad were very pleased with the boy and his family. They found no reasons to say NO for this match. 4 months later my sister got married. She is happily married for almost 7 years now and is blessed with a wonderful kid. The rewind of the past made me alert and resulted in an outburst, "I'll tell aunty that i am not ready for marriage yet, we'll not encourage anyone coming to our house and seeing me". My brother who was totally unaware of the topic seemed to be surprised. He asked, "What is it all about?" When my dad explained him, he gave a sneaky smile and said, "Finally, the computer is all mine!!" Crap.
My mom understood my fear and said in her usual way, "You are just over reacting. Nothing will get materialized and we are in no hurry to get you married. Dad will be retiring from his service in next 2years, till then there will be no word about your marriage. Ok?” What else can i say if the home minister is firm? I simply nodded my head with a wide grin on my face and completed my dinner. As usual my mom and dad went to terrace after dinner. It was a kind of ritual. We go to terrace after our dinner and chit chat. Usually i join my parents, but today i didn’t feel like going to terrace as my mind was pre-occupied with all sort of thoughts. I jumped on to my bed and closed my eyes. I heard people saying that it's a boon if you can sleep as soon as you close your eyes. I was always proud that i was given this boon, because all my cousins and friends would find it really hard to catch sleep after they close their eyes. I didn’t have this problem. As soon as i close my eyes, i would slip in to sleep. Solid and sound sleep, irrespective of whether there was light on, fan off or any sort of noise. Nothing and no one could disturb my sleep. But today i was not able to sleep; i lay awake in the dark room with my eyes wide open and looking into space. I always had so many plans about my life. I had dream companies in which I wanted to be an HR. After working for 2-3 years, i would start my own business (Don't ask me what business, i have so many things on list). This was how i exactly imagined my life to be. I always wanted to be a successful entrepreneur and contribute something to the society, to the people around me. I wanted to be a people's person. I always worked towards my goals. I tried my best to help people around me. I was a popular student ever since i was in school. I actively participated in all extra-curricular activities, was a studious girl (only till intermediate though, once i started graduating, my only interests were novels and movies not to mention my business plans and goals though). What would happen to all these dreams of mine if my mom approved this match? NO WAY, I can’t let this happen. I am a very ambitious girl; I would never compromise on anything that I felt was not up to my standard. I respect and I always approve all of my mom’s decisions on anything because she has never taken any hasty decision and she thinks from all perspectives before coming to a conclusion on anything. There was no doubt in any of her decisions. I always look up to her. She is the best home maker I have known. She seemed to be rigid sometimes, but later we would learn how her rigidity has helped or benefited us. This is what scared me. No one but only my mom had the ability to influence my thoughts. WHAT IF she likes the match? WHAT IF she influences me to get married? The never ending WHAT IF questions were tormenting me. I don’t know when I fell asleep. It was 6:30 in the morning when my mom woke me up.
Oh, morning again.
I should not be late today, or else I'll miss the college bus again. Thanks to Satthi and Nivvi, my friends who also come in the same route and in the same bus, they’ll literally beg the bus driver to stop the bus for me in case I’m late (which I usually will be). When I get in to the bus, the driver gives me a look which indirectly tells me what he exactly feels about me, it’s as if he says “You idiotic girl, can’t you be on time at least once in a while?” This expression of his is what makes me rush to bus stop, but poor me, I'll always be late or the driver will reach the stop too early. I went to my brother’s room, turned on the system without turning on lights as it would awake him. In the dim bed light I checked my mail box. Three new scraps. Good start. I replied to all the three scraps and tip toed to the hall, making sure not to wake my brother up. I then brushed my teeth (YES, I check my mails first, and then brush my teeth!!!), and drank milk. Took bath, went to pooja room (How late it may be, I'll make sure I don’t leave the house without praying for at least 2 minutes). Had idlis for breakfast and was about to leave. I was opening the gate to leave, and as usual shouted “Bye appa, bye amma” and then realized what a blunder it was. I heard my mom shouting from kitchen, “You are leaving? Wait for a second, you forgot to drink your glass of milk, I’m getting it for you”. Oh no, I had no time, I said “I'll have it in the evening, I don’t have time now”. I closed the gate, I’m walking on the road , I could hear my mom say to my dad “Can’t she get up at least 10mins before or can’t she stop checking her mails early in the morning so that she can find some time to drink milk. She is becoming a hard nut day by day and it’s all because you pamper her as if she is still a little girl”. I sighed, poor dad. I’m sorry for you. I started walking fast, took an auto to stop and to my surprise I didn’t find college bus in the stop, I was happy that I reached early. Five minutes had passed, and I could not see the bus coming. I called Satthi, he said the bus was already in the stop waiting for me. The driver stopped the bus a little front and aside of the usual stop as he didn’t want to block the road. I looked ahead, there, I could the yellow bus, and Satthi and Nivvi waving their hands to me out of their windows. I ran to get in to the bus; the driver saw me running towards the bus in his mirror and started the bus so that I had to run even faster. Finally, I reached the bus and while I was getting in to the bus, I avoided to look directly in to the driver’s eye, but heard him murmur “Hopeless girl”. Nivvi kept a seat for me, since I was late, I couldn’t get the window seat. As usual I slept off. We reached the college in an hour, Nivvi was shaking me and shouting, “Wake up, we are in college”. Oh, ok. I adjusted my hair and dress and got down. The driver was waiting down, when I was getting down, he shouted “From tomorrow onwards, I’m not going to stop the bus for anyone who is late. Everyone has to reach the stop before the bus reaches the stop”. Ah, he was indirectly pointing out to me. I kind of got used to it and pretended as if I was not the victim. I nodded my head and gave him a big smile. He simply looked at me as if I were a piece of crap and turned his head away. Nivvi and Satthi, were trying hard to hide their smile. I looked at them, and they started walking towards the canteen. We always have a cup of coffee or tea as soon as we reach college because our classes ran continuously from 9:40 till 1 in the noon. So, we had to have something that would make us not to fall sleep in the class. Nivvi and Satthi had coffee, Debo, Raheema and Suppu had tea, Sudheera and Raaj had fruit juice. I had coffee, tea and cool drink one by one. We went to class, the professor was already in the class and was taking attendance. So, kind of him, he allowed us in class though we were late. I went and sat in the last bench though all the front benches were empty. I called Suppu to sit with me, and while listening to the professor’s class, I was able to tell Suppu about the match that my aunt has seen for me. She was excited and exclaimed “Congrats!!” I looked at her as if she was mad and said “Congrats for what? I’m not getting married. OK?” She was aware of my goals, not completely though. She tried persuading me, “You can do all that you want even after marriage.” I said “I’m not ready for it yet and I’m never going to marry an NRI, you can never trust these NRI guys.” The professor stopped his lecture and was looking at me and so was the whole class and all the students were giggling. I was going on explaining to Suppu about NRI’s giving all funky expressions. She simply pinched me and when I looked at her she was looking at the professor with a plastic smile on her face. I looked at the professor and he just said “Are you done? Can I continue my subject?” I said I was sorry, he asked me to sit in first bench with my book. I didn’t note down a single point, there was nothing in my book except my name and signature. With great difficulty I could concentrate on the second part of his lecture as I was all alone sitting in the first bench and there was no other go than to take notes. After that we had next class. Hammering for another 1 hour 40 minutes.
Lunch time. We went to our lunch spot. Behind the auditorium, under the tree shade was our lunch spot. We used to talk talk and talk in the lunch break as we didn’t get any chance to talk in classes. Today the hot topic was about my NRI match. Everyone was excited and giving me good reasons as to why I should say YES to this NRI match. Satish had a good point though. “Arey yaar, you need not go for loans if you want to start your own business. NRI guy’s have handsome money”. Ha ha. Everyone agreed. They even started imagining me in bridal costumes, and as a housewife working in kitchen. I told them very clearly that there was no way I’m getting married and it was just a trial in order not to hurt my aunt’s feelings. Lunch time was over and I looked into my box, as always only half the box was empty. Everyone gave me a look and sighed. They knew how much ever they force me I would not complete my box if I was not hungry. Two classes passed with me sitting in last bench and lost in thoughts.
Likewise, two days passed. Nothing changed. Everything was routine. College, Tuitions, Eat and Sleep. I almost forgot about the match and even my friends didn’t ask about it as I didn’t show minimum interest. But on the third day as I woke up, my aunty called me on my mobile and asked me not to go to college. I asked why I shouldn’t .She asked me to put my mom on line, I gave the phone to my mom and went to check mails. My mom talked to my aunty and then came to me saying that I had to stay home. I asked why (I loved staying at home and sleeping all day, but today I can’t do that as my attendance percentage was too low). She then told me that my aunty was coming over to our place in the evening with the lady she was talking about. I was shocked. I said no way. I had an important class to attend; this was what I told my mom and promised her that I would return home early.
When I went to college, I couldn’t control but tell Supraja about the latest development about the match. She understood my concern. We went to canteen had tea and listened to first class. Then, during the second class, when the professor was delivering a lecture, the peon arrived with a notice. As usual, everyone shouted holiday holiday. The professor looked at us with an annoyed look, we calmed down. As the professor was reading the notice, we to a certain extent could make out that it was something serious. She signed on the notice and the peon left. She took a deep sigh and announced that one of the attendants had a heart attack and passed away in the college premises. The whole campus maintained peace and every one assembled in auditorium and closed their eyes and prayed for the attendant’s soul to rest in peace. It was then announced that the classes were suspended for the rest of the day. The college buses were leaving the campus. Satthi and Nivvi asked me if I was coming by college bus. I remembered that I had promised my mom to come home early. If it was for some other reason other than the match, I would have kept my promise. But today, though I had a chance to go early, I didn’t want to go home. I was wishing to be as late as possible. I said I’m not going by college bus. (Usually it’s takes 40 minutes from my college to home by college bus, but if I go by public transport, where I had to change 3 buses, it would take minimum of 2 hrs). Satthi and Nivvi also dropped the idea of going in college bus. We all went to canteen, had our lunch. I took tea and was lost in thoughts. It was then that Suppu popped the question again.
“What are you gonna do now?” I said I didn’t know. Debo was the senior in our batch, we always relied on her for all sort of advices and doubts. She was our greatest strength. Suppu told her about my situation, Debo looked at me, thought for a while, and said “It’s not a big deal. Your mom is also not so keen, so no worries as of now. But if she approves this match, do one thing. Get me the ladies phone number and I'll manage the rest of the story”. I gave her a pale smile. She knew I wasn’t convinced but just asked me to be cool. We all left the campus. Our college was in city outskirts, we took an auto from our college till the center of the city. Since it was noon, it was very hot. Everyone was willing to go home and hostels as soon as possible. But I and Debo insisted that it was our luck that we got half a day, we have to utilize the chance. We decided that we’ll go to NTR gardens. Again from city center we took two autos to NTR gardens. We reached there, ate ice cream, played games. I’m a very enthusiastic person when it was about entertainment. I was so involved in fun that I actually forgot about the issue. It was 4:40pm in the evening when everyone was exhausted. We all had lemon soda, and took an auto to our respective places. I was again surrounded by all sort of weird thoughts. By the time I was just 15minutes away from my house, my aunty called me on my mobile and asked where I was. When she learnt that I wasn’t home yet, she sort of scolded me and asked me to reach home as soon as possible. I asked her for what, as if I didn’t know. She said that the lady was waiting downstairs in my aunt’s office and they will reach my place in 20 minutes. She was in a hurry and hung up without giving too many details. My heart started beating fast. I felt I'll go back to college. Silly me. It was almost dark and my college was too far and I was already in an auto to home. I thought quickly. Ok, this is what I'll do. I'll be firm about my thoughts and will not get influenced by anyone, not even my mom. The auto reached my place in ten minutes. I got down and started walking. My house was 5minutes far from the bus stop. Not even did I spare a single second without thinking. How would the lady be? Will she be friendly? Will she be too old? I was thinking what if my aunty and the lady already arrived? What if my mom liked the lady and her nature? What if my mom influences my dad? WHAT IF questions are really tough one’s as you don’t have definite answers for them. I reached home. When I opened the gate, my mom was there in the verandah, she asked me to get freshened up. I did. She said she’ll get me tea when my aunt comes. She ironed a dress for me and asked me to wear that. I said I was comfortable in what I was wearing. She insisted that I wear the ironed dress. I was firm that I'll not wear the dress she ironed. I know I had to be firm. We could hear the gate opening and my aunt’s talking. I was for first time very nervous in my life. My mom left the room angrily as I didn’t wear what she asked me to. My mom greeted my aunt and the lady. I could hear my aunt and my mom’s voice. I sat on the bed. I took a chocolate from my bag and started eating it. After some 10 minutes, my mom came to my room and asked me to come in the hall. I held her hand tightly and said, “Amma, I’m scared.” She just ignored my feelings and almost dragged me by hand. We went to the hall, I looked at the lady directly into her face. She smiled. Wow. She had a very pleasant smile. No, I shouldn’t count positives. I sat on the chair beside my mom. My heart was beating very fast. My mom was talking to her. She appeared to be a cool and friendly person. She was much younger than I thought she would be. To be frank I liked her instantly. After 5 minutes, she asked me which college was I studying in and what specialization I chose in MBA. Hmm, so the lady does have a good idea about MBA, specialization and stuff. Again, a positive point. From the way my mom was talking to the lady and asking her details about their family, I could clearly make out even she was impressed. If my mom wasn’t impressed, she would never have asked so many questions many of which very personal. After about an hour, my aunty and the lady started to leave. I really felt like spending more time in her company. My mom went to the bus stop to give them send of, an act which clearly indicated that she liked the match. Otherwise my mom, wouldn’t have gone all the way to the bus stop though it was just five minutes of walk, that too when it was already dark. I cursed myself for not wearing the ironed dress and for being so very simple. I was bowled by the thought of having a relatively young lady with a pleasing personality as my mother-in law. I thought seeing how casual I was, she would never say YES to me, the thought of which was kind of insulting. When my mom returned, she asked my dad to call to a relative of our’s about the lady’s family as he was a common relative to both of us. I didn’t ask why ,neither did I ask my dad not to call. Later, during the dinner that day my mom told that the lady was perfectly OK with the match (I must say ME, I guess) and she instantly liked me as I liked her. She even took my horoscope details and my mom took the guys horoscope details. The horoscopes matched perfectly and a week later everything was finalized. And after 8 long months, I was married to this Mr.Prasad Sharma, which changed me from Ramya Joshi to Ramya Sharma!!!!!
